Happy Feet and Pink Pedals

I called this "Happy Feet and Pink Pedals" because that's what riding a bike does for me- it makes me happy. Not to mention, it literally makes you smile, but I'm not going to get all scientific on you. That's not the point of this blog. Oh, and I called it that because I have pink pedals. They are incredible; a work of art, but that's not the point either. Here's the thing: 

I rode my bike yesterday for the first time in about five months. It was amazing, and I was reminded why I fell in love with riding in the first place. It felt so good to finally be back on the bike, just me and the trail. I went again today but for twice as long. Same result- pure bliss. I even got so excited that I decided I would do  a mountain bike race called The Six hours of Herb. It's called that because it is a six hour race. Wow. I forgot to mention earlier that when I said I rode twice as long today, I meant that I rode two and a half hours instead of one. I'm only three and a half hours short of being able to complete the race- yay. So, for obvious reasons, I won't win this race. I won't even place. Heck, I am really just hoping to finish. And the truth is, I'm going to finish because there is not a certain amount of laps (one lap equals nine miles) you have to do in order to finish. You just ride as much as you can in the six hours. Technically, I could do one lap and quit, and I would have "finished." Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.

My goal is just to do the race and not chicken out. I guess the ultimate goal would be to ride four laps, 36 miles, in six hours. Now, if you're any good at all, that's not a good race time, but for me, that would be awesome! I am going to blog about my rides up until the race and then I'll finish this blog series with the race. I guess, in a way, I'm holding myself accountable through this blog. School's about to start though, and I need to find a job. Time is going to be stretched for me and finding time to ride is going to be hard. So hold on. It's going to be a bumpy ride! 

worship or WORSHIP?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

One of the greatest things about Student Life is the worship. Every night, regardless of your day, you go into a room with several, several hundred students and glorify a God who is forgiving and gracious. I love the worship. I love the music and the songs and the words.

And one thing I was most excited about this summer, was getting to spend a whole week in worship with Tenth Avenue North. I play their cd in my car and I know their songs by heart, so naturally I was pumped to spend the week with them. I knew they were going to be awesome, and I had built them up in my mind the be as great as they sounded in my car. So as they took the stage for our first night of worship and started singing "Mighty to Save" I felt the disappointment rise.

Let me clarify. The band was as great as I had imagined. They sang "Mighty to Save" as wonderfully as the others. I was not disappointed in the band. I was disappointed in my purpose of worship. I did not come in to worship tonight expecting to sing to a God who loves me, I came in to worship tonight expecting to hear my favorite band sing awesome songs. So let me say this:

What are you worshiping? Or rather, are you worshiping? Are you singing because  you like the song or the band, or are you singing because your God is mighty to save and he can move the mountains? I wasn't. My disappointment came from my own desires of a great concert; the the phone call I'd have with my best friend about how I was "working" with Tenth Avenue North all week. My ideas were thwarted and backwards.  I was not there to worship. I was there to hear a great show. That's where my disappointment came in to play.

But even more than that, what are you worshiping with your life? Worship is not a song. Worship is a lifestyle. It's a way of thinking and living. It's a basic foundation to build your life around. So what are you worshiping? Why are you singing? Who gets your praise?

Faith like a Child.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom belongs to such as these."

Matthew 19:14

As a rec leader, I see wonderful things throughout a normal day of camp. I see students, who have never been included, win the game for their family group, suddenly finding the confidence they've been missing for 13 years. I see homecoming queens and football stars break down under the weight of their sin, letting God renew and rebuild them. I see youth ministers, thrown into the job a week before they came, find purpose and meaning in a group of lost middle schoolers, and I see walls crumble and pain healed. God moves every single day in the lives of those students fortunate enough to come to camp. Unfortunately, as a rec leader what I don't see comes from a different camp perspective. 


Today the rec leaders had the opportunity to go with two mission site coordinators to a local Youth program. Now, for me, this was my first encounter EVER with missions camp, but I didn't realize the difference between missions and rec. During the day, they go play with kids in the community. During the day, I go play with kids at camp. Pretty similar, right? Wrong! What I saw might have changed the course of my life; at-least according to my plans.


We entered into a middle school turned inner-city youth outreach shelter, and as I entered the doors I was overwhelmed. Dozens of dirty little children lined the walls. They were sitting against the wall, waiting for their turn at the water fountain. They were small; probably three or four years old. They were dirty and tired, but when I bent over and said, "Hey there!", their eyes lit up and immediately I was caught up in a fit of hugs and high fives. They wanted to blow my blue whistle and see my watch light up. They wanted to sit in my lap and ride on my back. They wanted to be held and talked to. All the love and affection and attention they never get at home, they saw in my eyes. Now, this might not be the case for them. They might have seen my bright blue whistle and shiny white watch, and thought nothing more of me, but God was using these children to get my attention. 


These kids didn't know me, but in my friendly "hello" and nervous smile, they didn't see a stranger. They saw a hug and another hand to hold. They saw a girl who was too in love with their sweet faces to be mean and a strong set of shoulders to climb on- literally! It was a beautiful picture of what Christ should look like to us. We should hear his word and jump immediately into his arms. We should see his love and trust him. We should know his intentions and hold our arms out to him. We should lean on his strong shoulders and trust him to carry us. We should not question his motives and our faith in him should be unwavering.  I held out my arms and those children reached up to me. Jesus holds out his arms  EVERY second, and we are so cautious to reach. So scared of what we might lose or give up if we reach out to him. Why though? What have we to lose, and why can we not have the faith of a child and trust his heart and his word? Why can we not let him be our hope and our joy, and why can we not let him carry us when we're tired and weak? I don't know either.


My heart broke for these children. I looked at them and I looked at the neighborhood they lived in and the neglect on their faces, and the helplessness I felt was overwhelming. The thought of the futures they might live crushed me, but the thing is, these kids aren't thinking about the neglect or where they live or what they lack. They aren't thinking about how they might end up, or what might happen to them. They are thinking about the girl in front of them who obviously loves them and wants to be there for them. They are thinking about the fun they had coloring, or even playing on the floor in the hall way. That's it. With Christ, we don't need to be concerned about our futures or what we lack. We need to enjoy him and bask in his word and in the love he has for us. We need to be filled up in him, and we need to let him take care of us and plan out our futures.


These kids did not know me, but they didn't question my motives when I smiled and held out my hand. They took to me and trusted me. They let me be a part of their joy and happiness. Even though these children probably won't remember me tomorrow, they allowed me to be a piece of hope for them, and they will forever be on my heart. 


I don't know what God has in store for Corey and me, but I do know that his arms are reached out and I am jumping in. I am going to soak up his love and live in joy for what he has planned next. 

Sunny Days and water coolers

This week, we are at Wake Forest. Now, just to "connect a few dots" as my camp director, Brad, always says, on Friday morning we let Estes Park, Colorado and on Sunday afternoon, we arrived at Wake Forest in Winton-Salem, North Carolina. So here we are- two hours ahead and 50 degrees warmer. Now that we've cleared that up, I will tell you this:

Some of us are sick. Most of us are drained, but some of us are sick. There is just something about 50 degrees and really gets to your head- literally. So, as we woke up for our first full day of camp on Tuesday morning, we walked a little slower and talked a little less as we pulled ourselves to the rec fields. Morning rec went well. There is always room for improvement, but it went well. After wrestling a bunch of 10-year-old soccer players for lunch, we refilled the water coolers and headed back to the rec fields. Now, somewhere between 12 and 1, the sun got a little hotter. It is summer though, and really, it was no hotter than normal; or so I thought. It was a hectic day of recreation, and afterwords, our heads were sort of spinning, and we were all ready for a nap. But here's the thing-

Somewhere in the midst of running out of water and upset students, we forgot about the rain that threatened our rec earlier in the day. We'd also forgotten about the prayers we'd sent to the Man, asking him to hold off for just a little while, which is exactly what he did. It did not rain. The sun stayed high and the ground stayed dry, we just forgot what a blessing this really was.

It is so easy to forget the requests we make and to lose sight of the blessings in the midst of chaos. Here's the thing though- God is constantly blessing us, but often we are too selfish to realize it. A small problem today caused us to lose sight of a greater blessing over all. (It's not easy moving 300 panicked students into a gym)

I hope you might be encouraged to step back, in the midst of frustration and panic, and thank God for the way He is always providing and never failing. Don't get so stuck on certain problems that you cannot see certain blessings.

I love my job. I love the 20- something people I wake up and serve beside every single day, but mostly I love that God has given me the opportunity to be a part of something greater than myself. I am so thankful for the way He is constantly providing, and for the way His hand is always supporting us.  We serve a mighty, mighty God. Sometimes, we just need to remember that, and count even the small blessings.

Summer time

As you know, I am on the road with Student Life this summer. We eased into camp last week at Louisiana Tech, with only 2 squads of 100 kids. This week, we took the plunge and are serving 900 7th-12th graders in Estes Park, Colorado. Now, just so you have the correct mental picture, when I look out my window I see snow covered mountains, and this morning, as we made our way to the rec field, it was probably about 40 degrees. Let me tell you, coffee in the middle of summer time is rare where I come from. (unless it's iced of course!) But anyway, none of that is what I wanted to tell you.

I wanted to tell you about how unprepared I've been feeling. Satan has been attacking me in so many areas. I have been really struggling with missing Corey, but this shouldn't be a struggle because it's daily life for us. Also, he's been really attacking my confidence in what I'm doing. Sometimes I feel so unprepared and unsure of what I'm doing, which is not at all the case!

I tell you all of that, to tell you this...

God is everywhere. He's in the mountains that surround me. He's in the laughter of the students at recreation, and he's in the hearts of my teammates. His love is overwhelming, and sometimes I don't even realize it. I take for granted the greatness of God, and in my own selfishness, sometimes I fail to realize his love and his grace. I fail to realize why I am in Colorado 1,000 miles from everyone I hold dear, and even worse, I fail to realize the unfailing support and love and joy and strength I have in Christ. Today as I was standing in front of 200 middle schoolers, trying to tell them about being bold in their faith, I realized that I need to be bold in my trust. I need to stand firm in the fact that God has a plan and a purpose for me and the fact that I would not be here if it wasn't where He wanted me. 

As I watched the students run to free time after rec, I realized that the privilege of serving Christ is greater than any doubt or any lonliness or any hardship we might face. The thought that I might be telling some 14- year- old boy exactly what God wants him to hear, and even more that God is using me  to do his work and share his message, is greater than anything in this world. There is no greater honor than being used by Christ. We have to have confidence in that. We have to pray that Satan would be bound from us and that God would dwell in us and use us as his instruments. Satan attacks those who are working for the Lord, and that is where our feelings of incompitence come from; that is when we start doubting ourselves or our goal, and that is when we forget our purpose and lose sight of our faith.

Stand firm, believers. God has great plans for you. Allow him to use you.

Pray like you mean it.

Let us therefore come boldy into the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need. Hebrews 4:16 

Prayer. As Christians, prayer is our strongest, most useful tool. It works at just the right times, and it is always readily available. Prayer is our direct connection with God, our way to communicate with him, and through regular time in prayer and in scripture, God reveals himself to us and we grow closer to him. It is incredible, and there is no greater feeling than realizing a prayer has (or has not!) been answered. But anyway!

I say all of that, to ask this. I, along with 100 other young adults, am about the embark on 2 months of Student Life Camp. I am not going to explain camp to you what goes on there because I can't. I am afraid my words might not do justice to the experiences had at Student Life. BUT I will say this- it is a hard 2 months. I won't call it a sacrifice because I consider myself lucky to be a part of camp, but it is physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. So I am asking for your prayers. I am asking that you will make a space for the Student Life Staff members in your regular prayer time. This is what I am asking you to prayer for:

That first, God would give us an attitude of service and a spirit of humility. That, as a staff, everything we do or say would be glorifying to Him, and every message and devotion we share with the campers would be from God Himself. Pray that we would simply be God's instruments and that He will use us wherever we are needed; that we will deliver His message clearly and the way He would have us deliver it. Also, please pray for travel mercies, as all four of our staff teams travel long distances and several times over the summer.

Second, pray that the hearts and minds of the 3rd through 12 grade kids who come to camp will be open the God. That, when they come to camp, they will leave behind problems and worries from home and let God break them and fill them up. That their hearts would be forever changed and they would go home with new hearts and attitudes.

Third, that when they do go home, it won't be us they are telling their friends and families about. Pray that it will be God they run home and talk about. Pray that we won't be rememberd, but what God did the week they were at camp and the way God was revealed will be what they remember.

Pray that the message of the Gospel will spread like wild fire in the hearts of our youth and that God would use us and these camps to help show these campers His truth. Pray that God would shake our youth and ultimately our country, and have a lasting impression on their hearts and their lives. 

Thank you brothers and sisters. Also know that you are being prayed for as well.

Ramblin' Mind.

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever... Psalm 118:29

Well right now, there are about one million and five things on my mind. Here goes...

On the whole going- out- of- town- for- two- months thing: I think you should be able to go to some website and type in where you are traveling, what you will be doing, and how long you will be gone, what size you are, and what kind of clothes you wear on a daily bases, and this website will mail you a suitcase pre and perfectly packed for whatever it is you are going out of town to do. "Going on a honeymoon? Type in your size and we'll send you a beautiful suitcase filled with flowing dresses and bathing suits that flatter your figure! What about going to Student Life for two months? Are you a REC leader? We'll send you a cute but durable suitcase equipped with the best tennis shoes, gym shorts, sports bras and socks. But it doesn't stop there! Great jeans and comfy but nice shirts for worship and nights off!" No one take this idea, I am going to create this little cyber travel-store-heaven when I get home in August.


And why can't hair grow faster? What if your hair grew as fast as your fingernails? How nice would that be?! OR what if you could take some magic potion that made your hair stop growing so your 100 dollar highlights looked brand new until you decided to stop taking that magic potion? Clearly I've missed my calling in life.

I got a wedding dress... WITH POCKETS!!

I have gotten to spend the past few days in fellowship with great friends. I am so thankful to have people in my life like them. Where would we be without friends? A good friend is more valuable than gold... and a lot more fun.

I am SO EXCITED!!! to be going to Student Life on Saturday. I am going to miss my family, of course, and I am even going to miss planning my very own wedding, but I am SOO excited about my team for the summer! I love them all like family, and I know God has INCREDIBLE things in store for this summer. I can just feel it. My attitude this summer is so much different than last year, and I cannot wait to get my hands dirty and step out of my comfort zone. Student Life pushes me to work hard and it really teaches a lot about depending solely on God for everything. Even more than that though, I cannot wait to see what God does in the lives of the campers this summer. It is so easy to forget that the summer is not about me, but I have been praying for an attitude of humility, and that God is what the kids remember from camp, not us. I know He is going to do incredible things, and I am so very excited.

Also, in 234 days (not that I'm counting! But seriously, it's a facebook countdown... I am literally not counting) I am going to marry my best friend. I cannot wait. After all, absence only makes the heart grow fonder for a while. After a certain level of fondness, it's no longer cool- just annoying and hard. There is a light at the end of the distance, and it will be here in 234 days.

I have realized that the story of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is actually a tragedy, and that no one should feel so lost to not even be able to name their cat. I love this story, but it breaks my heart for Holly. She needed someone to love her and show her where she belonged. Why can they never put Jesus into these stories? Then they wouldn't seem so sad.

I painted my toe nails lime green and ate a Clown Cone from Baskin Robbins. Does it get any better?!

I am getting old. I no longer know what is "in style" (nor do I really care?) and if a word is abbreviated, I have to ask someone what it stands for.  If I get a text from a younger girl I might know, I have to ask her to type out the abbreviations and resend the message. Am I 30?

In the past few days, I have been thinking a lot about the difference in a teenager and an adult. I have been thinking about how little we know and how much we learn as time goes on. I don't think it really has to do with getting older, but as you get older you do experience more and come in contact with so many different people; this is where those realizations come from. Maybe it does have to do with age after all.

Planning the wedding of your dreams is so much harder than they tell you! Do you know how many different colors there are to choose from? And why does every dress have to be so perfect?! SO MANY CHOICES. No wonder the girl plans the wedding.

It's 12:24. I am going to bed. Sorry for rambling, but I do feel better now. :)