Oil Rainbows and Donuts.

I was sitting in the donut shop with my nephew. It was cold and raining, and everything outside seemed to have a tint of grey. The sun was no where. It was dreary. Will, my nephew said, "Look Jess, a rainbow." Silly will. I love that kid, but there was no rainbow... anywhere. Everything was grey, even the white cars outside the window looked grey. "Yes it is! That's a rainbow on the ground. Every color except red."

Will was talking about oil. Some oil from a car had leaked and spread all over the black parking lot. He was right. It was a rainbow. It was beautiful. Against the black pavement, the oil had created incredible shades of blue, purple, green, yellow, and orange. No red, but all the others. Will was exactly right. It made a wonderful ocean of color across this parking spot, and the black pavement made the colors look even brighter. I know this sounds crazy, but it's true. 

The entire world, even the donuts, looked grey this morning. It was cold. It was raining. This eight year old boy sat in front of me and found the most beautiful thing in the midst of the dark. I was thankful for him at that moment. Isn't that what God does for us? Aren't we ugly? Aren't we oil spills? God sees beauty and majesty in us, despite the mess that we are. He finds us and makes us beautiful. He sees us and so much more than what we really are. We are a creation to him, perfect and bright. Although we lack in so many ways, just like Will's rainbow was missing the red, we are still beautiful. He sees value and worth in us. He knows we are more than just a spill, a spot, that needs to be cleaned up. He wants us. He wants us to grow and remain in him. 

Will loved the oil rainbow. He couldn't believe that oil could do that, or that it was a problem that needed to be cleaned up. He just thought it was beautiful. He saw a pattern and a work of art in what most people see as a nuisance.  

Jesus did too. Jesus saw something beautiful, something unique in us. We don't see each other that way. We don't see people in the way Jesus did. We see each other as problems, as wrong, and messes that need to be cleaned up. Maybe if we found the beauty in one another we could learn to love like Christ did. Maybe if we could look at oil in the parking lot as a rainbow, we could learn to look at each other with love and potential. Maybe that's why he wants us to have faith like a child. Children don't have to be taught to find beauty; they do it on their own. 

Joy and Hope. Not happiness.

God is good, even when life is hard. And life, I have found, is very hard. There is always the possibility of disappointment and heart break. Life is merciless, as is this world we live in. Sometimes my heart breaks for the people that don't know Jesus. Not because of the unsure future, but because of the joy that only comes from Christ. I can't imagine waking up every morning and counting on the world, or people to fill me up and supply my joy. Our own parents let us down. The men and women who love us let us down. Nothing in this world is truly sustaining. Happiness is so circumstantial, and circumstances are so temporary. It literally breaks my heart to think of those living for this world, in this world, with nothing more to count on.

Think about how easily a good day can be ruined, or a good time can turn bad. Think about how our emotions are different with every conversation and every word, every song, every movie. It is so easy to lose happiness, and anger and sadness creep up before we even have time to think about why. Happiness can be lost or gained in an instant. Joy is the only thing that lasts. Joy in permanent, it is deep, it is unwaivering. Joy is what we have in Christ; it's what we get from him when we know that no matter how horrible a circumstance, the future is bright.

Joy is from Christ. Happiness is from the world. The thought of only having happiness makes me sad. I hate to think that people in this world have no hope, no happiness, and no joy. In Christ, there is always hope and joy. Happiness is temporary because it is circumstantial, but joy and hope are unfailing in  an unfailing Christ.

My prayer is that everyone might experience joy and hope. My prayer is that those who are longing for more would find Christ; that they wouldn't turn to this world or that man or that drink for what they are missing. My prayer is that our hearts would be so broken by this world that we have to have Christ because there's no other way we'll make it. We realize that we HAVE to know him. We have to have joy and hope in Him because it is not coming from anywhere else. My prayer is that everyone this Christmas would know the true meaning of Christmas, and know that it is not about tacky sweaters and good gifts. It's about joy and hope that come from the savior, and the reason we celebrate is the savior. My prayer is for joy and hope, whether happiness is there or not.

Happy Christmas.

For You.

You need to know that you are dearly loved. You are loved and wanted and needed and inspiring. There is great pride in your being and your person. There is a plan for you and a purpose that is for no one BUT you. There is hope and a chance for you. There is a future; a promise. Thought and sweat and blood went in to preparation for you. A plan, an idea; an "ah ha!" moment sparked your beginning. A creator designed you; A creator far more talented than any of us. You are not alone. Someone is just like you. Someone is here for you, walking beside you, behind you, leading you; wherever you need them to be. Someone has been where you are or where you are going or where you just came from. Someone is going your way. Someone can point you in the right direction. Someone can hold your hand, or not talk if you'd like. Someone looks up to you. Someone is encouraged and inspired by you. Someone finds joy in your happiness. Someone hurts in your sadness. Someone wants to be like you; someone wants to save you. Someone BELIEVES in you. You have a story worth telling. You have a story people NEED to hear. You have a story others can relate to. You are worth the time and the effort. You are worth the sacrifice. You are AMAZING and unique and gifted. You are the missing piece. You are a part of the puzzle. You are irreplaceable. There is no other YOU. Your talent is not lost. It is never too late. You are smart. You have all the potential and the world at your fingertips. You can do WHATEVER you want; go WHEREVER you want. You have the power and the capability to figure out how. You can overcome. You can  shock and awe. You can win and succeed. You can listen and learn. You can. You CAN. Lean not on your own understanding; you don't have to. You don't need to. You don't want to. Don't think too hard. Don't work to hard. Don't  lose sight of why. Count your blessings. Compliment. Complement. Complete. Seek purpose. Seek reason. Seek faith. Don't ask why. Just be thankful. Just believe.

Could you do me a favor? Probably not.

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they might see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven. Matthew 5:16

"You're too kind," he said. It made me sad.

     Today in the Tiger Den (for you non-Tigers, that's our cafeteria, and by cafeteria I mean where the Subway and Chick- Fil- A are) a man with full hands and arms and a backpack dropped his packet of ketchup on the ground. Instead of picking it up, for fear of dropping a lot more than ketchup, he started kicking it toward an empty table. He kicked the packet right into my pathway, and without thinking, I picked it up and handed it to him. When I did this, I wasn't really thinking, and I definitely was not expecting to hear, "You are too kind. Thank you so much for that." Now, I realize this could have been his normal, polite response whenever someone helps him out, but it could have been a genuine "thank you." So here's where I'm at:

        Why are we shown so much gratitude for something so small? Do we live in a world that is so concerned with self, that a simple gesture has become reason for spoken gratitude? And if we do, why is that okay? I don't know if it was ever really like this, but you hear songs and read books about people that would do anything for anybody.The bible is filled with stories of people dedicated to reaching out and bringing people in, doing whatever they could for anyone if it meant they saw Christ through them. If it's in the bible then we know, at one point, this is how people lived, so why aren't we living like that now?

         

           As Christians, shouldn't we live by the standard of giving ourselves for the sake of others? Our goal and our purpose should be to display Christ' love in our actions and our lifestyles. We should be people of accountability, of trust, of reliability. Instead, we actively participate in a world that is so self-consumed that picking up a packet of ketchup off the ground for someone struggling to balance everything is suddenly a heroic act. In our world, this gesture that should be second nature, means that we are kind and considerate and not self-obsessed. If that's all it takes, what would happen if we started doing real things for each other; things that actually take time and effort and sacrifice? I'm not sure any of us would know what to do. 

That's the sad part- not only should we know what to do, we should be examples of this because we live for Christ who walked the Earth as a living example for us. Our teacher is the one who invented kindness and generosity and compassion, and he gave all of us the potential for such things. Instead though, we float on by with our own lives, only lending a hand where it's noticed or when it's convenient for us. Seriously, this is what has come of the people who have been appointed and entrusted by Christ to carry on His good works. 

And taking it a step farther, isn't this what has happened to the modern church? We are all about bringing people in and helping them find the truth in life, but is it more about convenience? Are we willing to travel like Paul, or give our lives to bringing people to Christ? Some churches are great at this, and they have an outreach that has reached across the ocean, but what about the majority? Our doors are open, but don't ask us to come to your door first. What happened to the people being the church, and the church goes wherever the people are? Isn't that how we should be living?

These might just be my own convictions, but I think it's something we should all be more aware of. Our goal for ourselves should be to live as people from whom generosity and kindness and outreach are expected. People should not be surprised when we reach out and do whatever we can for them. They should know that's what we're going to do. Our goal in all of this should be to shine the light of Christ into the darkness of this world. When we are living in love, we are living in Christ. After all, whatever we do for the least of thee, we do for Christ, right? 

     Like I said, these might just be my own convictions. I go to a wonderful church, as I'm sure many of you do, but I think it's easy to get comfortable and forget that the purpose of living for Christ is about going beyond our own comforts. Comfortable is a scary place to stay. Challenge yourselves to live as people from whom kindness and generosity is expected. Challenge yourselves to do everything with a cheerful heart, without grumbling or complaining. When someone needs something, be there for them, and let Christ use you to reach others. 

Wreck Me.

This is the true story of a terrible car accident that left Brandi Massey for dead- almost. God chose to heal Brandi, in more ways than one. 

Romans 8:38 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them.

                Brandi was mad at God. Her marriage was falling apart. Her father, to whom she was an only child, had just passed away. He was much too young; much too loving to be lost to such a terrible disease.  Life had changed all too quickly in the past six months. Of course she was mad at God, no one could blame her. But a new town was going to be the fresh start Brandi needed, right? Surely this was on her mind when the car crashed that night, but we’ll never know. She had been moving her things, preparing to start fresh. More than just her body was tumbled and changed forever the night of her accident.

                January 13, 2002 was very, very cold. It was dark. The truck was big. Her mind was filled with more than just the road in front of her. It’s something we’ve all done countless times. Atleast she realized she’d driven onto the shoulder before she hit the trees; although, maybe the trees would have been more kind to her. She jerked the steering wheel, or so they think, a little too hard. One flip, two flips, how many more? She was thrown from the truck. As if the driver’s side window or windshield might not be bad enough, her body was hurled out the passenger side window. Like an enemy, the pavement was cold and unwelcoming. She lay there, unaware, alone for dead.

                The fire chief, like an angel with no name, saw her truck. His family car skidded to a stop and he ran to the body. Lifeless, he held Brandi in his arms. 9-1-1, young girl here, we need an ambulance. D.O.A. means dead on arrival. This is what Brandi was. The chief laid a blanket over her cold body, and back from the dead- she moved. 9-1-1, don’t send an ambulance; we need a helicopter. That’s how the wings of life saved Brandi.

                32 days and nights she spent in The Med. Debby, Brandi’s mom, spent 32 days and nights beside Brandi, waiting patiently for God to take her or heal her.  Take her home, Father, to her dad and to you, or bring her back to me. That’s what He did. Brandi Massey’s earthly life was not complete. A second chance is what she was given. God didn’t want her to come home angry at him.

                Happy Valentine’s Day. Brandi spent hers on a plane to Atlanta. After 32 days and nights, a shunt, several Lumbar drains, a case of meningitis, a feeding tube, brain damage, a crushed pelvis, severed nerves, and a shaved head, Brandi was sent to The Shepherd Center for rehabilitation. After five weeks in ICU at The Shepherd Center, thanks to meningitis, Brandi finally began rehab. Five days a week, five hours a day; speech rehab, physical rehab, every kind of rehab- and we thought high school was hard. She couldn’t talk, except for a couple words here and there. She couldn’t walk. She couldn’t feed herself. She couldn’t go to the bathroom. She didn’t know her Dad had died. She didn’t know she was getting divorced, or even who her husband was. She didn’t know who her mother was- this woman taking care of her day in and day out. Her beautiful, rich brown locks and been shaved to a little boy’s buzz, but she was alive. God was giving her a second chance. Brandi didn’t wonder why. She just wondered if she’d ever be a big kid again. To - go to the bathroom on her own, to walk from the bed to the couch- goals that once were not even thoughts in Brandi's mind.

                May. Debby drove Brandi home from Atlanta. Home again, finally. It had been six very long months. Prescriptions lined the window sills. Brandi had to grieve again over the loss of her Dad. She had to learn who Debby was. She had to learn how to go to the bathroom, but she was home. Progress was made. She’d come a long way from being D.O.A.

                June 13, 2003. Brandi Massey moved into her very own condo; she was a big kid again. She wasn’t mad at God. In fact, she was grateful. Her harsh spirit had been softened. She looked at things in a new light, a grateful light, a light that allowed her to see the beauty in everything. A bad day, a good day, at-least it’s another day. God used this accident to build her faith. He used it to build her mother’s too. Debby was out of control. For the first time in her life, she was completely surrendered to Christ. She saw the beauty in small things and the strength of God. Her faith had been tested and tried. Blind is what she called it. Blind trust had gotten her through; completely and utterly dependent on God. Just like Brandi’s blind trust in Debby, who was a stranger to her daughter for six long months. God was good. Healing had come from this accident. Can God use something so painful? Yes. He can use anything for His glory.

                Brandi’s faith was restored. God used this wreck in a way, to allow her to forget the pain of death and divorce. She only remembers, from this year in her life, what people tell her. The wreck might as well be a story she reads; the anger she felt over her divorce and father’s death is simply a chapter in this story. All she knows now is that God gave her a second shot, and this time, she was going to get it right.

                Brandi is beautiful; striking actually. She's the kind of woman you stare at, and wonder how anyone could be so present. Her hair is shorter now. She walks a little slower. Her fast-moving career has slowed to a steady pace. She has found happiness and peace. She’s an advocate now, for what God has done; for what he continues to do, for his saving, blind grace. Her life is a miracle. She is no longer mad at God. Brandi is stronger now, after a wreck that almost killed her, than she ever used to be. Strength comes in so many shapes. The way it takes something so drastic to make someone realize what’s important, is sad. The way God uses something so drastic for His glory and honor, and to bring praise to His name, is incredible.

And it's okay...

Don't forget that-

It's okay to eat extra helping of everything on Thanksgiving in honor of those who will not be partaking in the festivities.

It's okay to "forget" to tell people the food you brought is not homemade.

And it's okay to think that one run or one walk or one bike ride justifies several servings of dessert.


It's okay if you don't really listen to anything your teacher says, after all everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, right?

It's okay if the only reason you GO to class is so you can sit next to that one cute boy or girl.

And it's okay if the only reason you put on real clothes to go to class is because of that one cute boy or girl.



It's okay to have a favorite football player, but not a favorite football team.

It's okay to listen to the same song over and over again, and sing it out loud in a completely serious fashion.

It's okay to claim your hair "has to be dirty for this style."

And it's okay to buy a shirt at Marshall's but let people think you paid full price at the expensive store.


It's okay to seriously think Jake Gyllenhall would want to date you if you ever met in real life.

It's okay to watch the same youtube videos over and over and laugh equally hard every time.

It's okay to sleep with the night light on.

It's okay to wear your pajamas all day.

And it's okay to claim to work better under pressure to hide your procrastination.


It's okay to talk in funny voices with your friends a lot longer than you'd ever claim to do.

It's okay to laugh at your own jokes, even if no one else does.

It's okay to yell at the basketball team from your seat like they are your boyfriend.

It's okay to talk like about Taylor Swift like she's your best friend just because you know a weirdly-large amount of information about her.

And it's okay if Teen Mom is your favorite TV show.


Love who you are, and don't be afraid to find happiness in the small things. Remember that laughing makes every situation funny, and friends are the best medicine. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Don't forget to remember...

Do the Two-Step

I'm not talking about the dance, although I encourage doing the dance, too.

Psalm 37:4 & 5- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit yourself to the Lord and trust in him and he will do this...
Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...

I'm talking about prayer.
No, prayer is not a two-step process. Prayer is our direct communication to God, and thank the Lord, literally, for that. The thought that I can voice a prayer and God will actually hear me is enough to calm whatever worry I had, on the spot, before He even has His way with my request.

But what about the bigger requests? Not even the requests; what about the times you are just calling out to him to PLEASE show you what to do because you have NO IDEA. What about the times when all you want is for him to say, "Do this,"? When you are driving down the street and the whole way you are praying for him to please tell you what to do, to please make His will your own and show you what He wants for you, and then you stop at a red light and it's silent and you wait for a few minutes and then you say, "God I can't hear you! Why aren't you answering me? All I want is to do Your will. Please just tell me what that is!" This is when we do the two-step.

So often, as I am guilty, we want to pray and pray and then for God to just divinely send us the answer we are seeking. Seriously, sometimes I hope that a stranger will walk up to me and say, "I know this is weird, but I just felt like I should come and tell you..." Now, that happens, no doubt, but it's like because we prayed a lot, we expect that to happen. What about the bible? What about opening our bible and reading what God has already laid out for us. It seems logical, almost like a "duh" moment to me. 1. Pray 2. Open your bible. Genius.

Prayer is our direct communication with God, and the bible is His direct communication with us. God has written out anything we could need to know, but so often that is the last place we look when seeking the answers we are hoping to hear. Sometimes I'll find myself thinking how I feel so distant from God. I've been praying so much, but I feel so distant from him. Then I'll open my bible and it's like I can feel him speaking to me. Sometimes I forget that prayer is only the beginning of communication with God. The rest of it comes from opening the bible and letting him speak to us. I truly believe that if you are in prayer, if you are taking delight, truly, in the Lord, he will make known to you his plans for your life. We can't expect them to be as obvious as the person in front of us because God is not like that. But, if we are truly seeking him with our whole lives, we can be confident that the decision we make is one he put in place for us. Sometimes it may take a while, but there is a purpose for that, too. Our God is an intentional God. There is a plan and a purpose for everything he allows to happen, and what better way to see that than praying and reading His word?

So don't forget the two-step. And I would suggest learning the dance, too.