Dear Girl,

Dear Girl,

Stand up, girl. You are beautiful. You are strong, and you are worthy. Do not call him; do not let his ignorance be the measure of your standards. Stand up, girl. Do not settle for that. Do not settle. Do not compromise His desires for you for his desires of you. Do not overlook the little details. Stand up, girl.

Be bold. Be fierce. Know what you want, and wait for that. Wait for it. Wait for him. Wait for Him to bring him to you. Do not look for him because you will not find him. What you will find is a watered-down version, a less perfect illustration of what you know He has for you. Be bold.  Remind yourself daily that you are a prize, not a pattern. Remind yourself that there is better for you than what this world offers. Remind yourself that there is someone who knows how to treat you; someone who will do those things you are hoping for; someone who knows what he has in you. Be bold.

Hold your head high, and stand in confidence. Stand in confidence of God's grace, and what he has blessed you with. Embrace Him, do not embrace them. Embrace Him, and let Him do a work in you. Let Him use you and lead you and guide you... eventually to him. Hold your head high, and stand in confidence. Do not wish away this time in your life. Do not rush through the days, ready for the next. Take in each minute, living in it, preparing for the next.

You are beautiful. Tell yourself that. Remind yourself of that. Daily. Let Him fill you up. Let Him measure your worth. Let Him be the standard for what you deserve. Do not settle. Stand up, girl.

About my Dad.

My father is a quiet man. If you know me, chances are you still don't know him. He works hard and does what he can for those he loves. He says what needs to be said and leaves the rest for small talkers. He's up early with the sun, and I remember the days he wouldn't be done working until after dark. He can be mean or stubborn or encouraging or gentle- whatever the need might be. He's got curly hair, thinning from age, but it's enough to make you wonder how he might have been at 22. Although he doesn't say much, you can tell he probably has a couple stories worth sharing. He grew up in the cold, learned from his brother's mistakes, and worked for what he had. He headed down South at 21, and except for his family that brings him back every now and then, he never returned to Illinois.

He was a runner. He ran miles and miles, and maybe from more than just the pavement, but he'd never say for sure. It was running that brought him to Alabama, and ultimately into the life of my mother. He always was an honest man, and he gave her all he could: a pair of earrings, her first car, all the love and stability a home could hold. Whatever it took, my father did.

He was a carpenter by trade, a humble but noble career. His works were beautiful, perfectly crafted into a sturdy home, a place a family could rest and be. In his creations, children were raised and houses became homes. In his creations, people came to life and memories were made, and in his creations, we were able to have our own family, our own home, our own life and memories made.

He would bring home animals he found in giant paint buckets, and together we'd nurse them to health and watch them fly or crawl or slither back to life. He'd pull bicycles out of his truck on our birthdays, and one day, when he opened the door, two puppies hopped out. He'd take trips to the store for ice cream or donuts, or crackers on those sick days. He'd carry us where we needed to go, and watch us as we walked away. To school and practice and spend the nights we'd go, and there he was when we got home.

If he's taught me anything, it's to work hard, save a lot, and take time to do what you love. If he's showed me anything, it's to know when to speak and when to listen, and how to love with all you have. If he's helped me in any way, it was to believe in myself and figure out how to do what needs to be done; it's how to become someone I want to be, and how to wait for what I deserve.

Tough love has no more perfect picture as my father, and I know no better man. I am so grateful, more and more as the time goes on, for who he is. I am so grateful, more and more as time goes on, for all the times he's told me no, and the stubbornness I got from him that leads me into my own, sometimes with his head shaking, and sometimes with a smile on his face as he watches me go.

I'll praise you in this storm.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and our strength. And ever-present help in times of trouble.

I am overwhelmed right now by what's on the news- It seems like hurt and loss have come to everyone I know, like pain is felt by everyone in this world, and like it continues to rain in so many ways on this life and this place.

I hear of these storms, see the pictures of people who have lost all, of all who have lost people, and I hear stories of girls struggling to know how precious they are in the eyes of the maker. I hear stories of heartbreak and of families torn apart by war, and I think to myself, "why do I have it so good, and why do I complain when it gets hard for me?"

I know that God is in control, and to him be the glory, but sometimes I do wonder "Why, God?", and I feel silly because who am I to ask the creator of this universe "why?", or to even think for a second that nothing good can come of what's happened and what's to come.

Who am I to say that all this world feels is pain, and the truth is, we live in a broken world, so sometimes that's just it- the world is just broken.

But to God be the glory and I mean that whole-heartedly. In our trials, in our pain, God is glorified most high, and if it takes pain and loss and destruction and other high costs for us to raise our hands and fall to our knees and finally realize the detrimental need for a Heavenly Father, then shame on us for not realizing sooner. Shame on us for waiting for loss, for only saying our prayers when it seems to be dark. Shame on me for questioning "why?" when the answer to why is quite clearly me.

I am why it takes so much pain and so much hurt for God to be called on, glorified and searched. And I ask him, God search my heart, but he already has and this is what it took. So here I am God, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doubting and certainly sorry for shouting "WHY?" when I know why, and it doesn't even matter. There's still so much to be thankful for, and you- perfect and worthy- are so merciful that you lift me up when my heart is hurting.

So God, no longer will I ask "why?" and drop my head in ignorance. I'll say to you and this world that I live in, "To God be the glory, and in all things lost, God has a reason, even at such a high cost. His plan is so perfect and his timing is too, he is merciful and just and makes all things new."

I'll glorify you and I'll praise you in this storm. I'll thank you for the cross and the cost that's already been paid, and I'll realize today, that you reign over all, and to you be all praise.

Just a quick note on heavy burdens.

Here's where I'm at right now:

I have a 7 page study guide in front of me for the hardest exam/ class I have to take.
On the same day of the hardest exam, I also have my second hardest exam.
I am currently working 2 jobs.
I have the WORST allergies EVER.
I am physically and mentally exhausted.
I could go on, but for your sake, I won't.

SO this is the moral of the story:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. " Matthew 11:28. 

Sometimes, there is so much thrown our way, it literally makes us tired to think about it all.
Sometimes, we don't understand what God is trying to teach us, or why he is letting us face so many trials.

It doesn't matter.

God doesn't need our permission or our understanding to teach us. He doesn't need our approval to give us something we need to face. He will give us what we need when His timing says we need it. That's it. His timing is perfect. So is His plan. So basically, whatever he is letting us face, no matter how big or small, is a perfect teaching tool. It might not always be enjoyable, in fact it might be painful, but it will grow us, teach us, mold us, and it is to make us who HE wants us to be. So when your burden is heavy, remember His is light, and it's His we should be carrying anyway. Remember that.

Don't settle for the storm.

God loves you. He loves you. He has big BIG plans for your life. YOUR life. He has been preparing a way for you since before time. You are a prince, a princess, a child of the King. THE King. You are precious, beautiful, perfect in his sight. He does not need you. He wants you, which is better than being needed. 

He will give you the desires of your heart. He will GIVE them to you. Gift. Give. He has a plan for you, and if you LOVE him, if you SEEK him, HIS desires will become yours and he will GIVE those desires to you. He WANTS you to be happy. He longs for you to feel joyful, but he will allow you to feel pain, sadness, heartbreak, despair- whatever it takes to bring GLORY to him. Unfortunately, the human condition says that we should only come to him when we need him, or worse: that we don't need him. Just so you know, we ALWAYS NEED HIM. Always. Always.

Because of his great love for us, because of our purpose to bring HIM glory, He will remove from our lives anything that gets in the way of HIS perfect plan. Thankfully so, but most of the time we are blinded by our OWN plans, desires, wants. We cry out, "why?!" only to be answered with "learn." LEARNING has never been easy. LISTENING is never easy. LOSING is never easy, but God didn't promise us easy. He PROMISED us worthwhile. 

So next time you lose, you cry, you hurt, you don't understand, don't ask "WHY?" ask "WHAT?" Ask "What God? What do you want me to learn?" 

He doesn't take from us to hurt us. He takes from us to teach us a guide us back to where we belong, back to where any CHILD of the KING belongs- in His presence. In His will. In His love.

Stay in His love. Find your way back to him. Don't settle for the storm. Find the rainbow.

It's perfectly acceptable to...

It is perfectly acceptable to...
Call Paul from American Idol your boyfriend.
To blame your relationship issues on Pia from American Idol.
Believe the characters in the movie can hear you when you yell/cry at them because they CAN hear you, can't they?
Think every song is the best song in the world AND written about YOUR life.

And it's perfectly acceptable to...
Drink a whole can of (Insert your soft drink of choice here. Tonight, I'm a Sun Drop) in a matter of minutes.
Only run when the weather is nice.
Watch your favorite TV show instead of doing homework, as long as your homework is open in front of you. Hey- you tried.
Not have a clue in the world what you're going to do in the future. I mean, obviously it'll be figured out by the time it's actually the future.

And it's perfectly acceptable to...
Make a really great batch of cookie dough and then eat it... as cookie dough... instead of cookies.
Think the characters from One Tree Hill or Lost are real. Because they are.
Oh, and to know how to do things because you once saw it done on One Tree Hill or Lost.
Talk about all the creative things you'd love to do, even though you have no intention of actually doing them.

And it's perfectly acceptable to...
Spend hours on the phone with really great friends.
Stay up waayyy too late when you have to wake up waayyy too early.
Paint your nails every other day... or every day. (I can't stress this one enough. Totally normal.)

And it's perfectly acceptable to...
Make a list of all the things you'll buy- as soon as you get money.
Talk to yourself, out loud, if no one else is around... or if other people are around. It doesn't really matter.
Close the curtains and turn on the rain machine (at 2 p.m. on a sunny, warm day) and take a really great nap.

Happy Friday, you all. :)

The thing about relationships from someone who needs to learn the thing about relationships.

Here's the thing about relationships: (At least that I've found, but I'm certainly no expert.)

They are not perfect. They require a lot of work. The relationship you have with one person is in no way the relationship you will have with the next, or the one before. You can't be with someone and expect them to be like someone else. You have to start new and fresh with each person, accepting them for who they are, not who you want them to be. You have to understand that loving a person does not make them perfect, and that love is a choice you make despite the imperfections.

Here's the thing about relationships:

They require compromise- lots of it. They require effort and energy. They need a lot of attention and affirmation. And it's really important to know the person you are in a relationship with. You have to know them- how they work and operate, how they view things and how they see the world. You have to know their heart, not just their emotions. You have to know that sometimes things are rough, and there will be kinks to work out.You have to know that even the best relationships have their hard moments, and that you can't just give up when it gets tough.

Here's the thing about relationships:

You have to know that fairy tales and movies are not real life. You have to know that butterflies fade away, and then you are left with the person you are in a relationship with. That needs to be a person you can stand to be with; a person that makes you happy and encourages you and supports and respects you. You have to know that you can't expect them to be perfect. You can't expect them to fit into your mold, to fit into the cut- out you've designed in your head.

Here's the thing about relationships:

Sometimes they start and then they end. Sometimes they start and they don't ever end. Sometimes they start and you tough it out for a while, and then they end against your will, against your wants. But the thing about relationships, is that your heart has to be right. Your desire for that relationship has to be right, and it has to match the other person's desire for the relationship. It has to be centered on more than just yourselves. It has to be about more than just the two of you; about more than just the moment you're living in right now.

Here's the thing about relationships: They only work out when the timing is right, when hearts are right, and when both people are willing to see them through. The thing about relationships, is that they are messy and unpredictable. They are relationships because you can't make them work on your own.