Little Storms

When it rains, it pours... But there's always sun behind the clouds, no matter how long they stick around.

It rains a lot. Sometimes, we embrace it. We curl up with a good book, or our favorite tv show, throw our arms around that special person, and let the sound of the rain carry us away. 

Sometimes we run from it. We throw a hood over our heads and make a mad dash for refuge. It doesn't even matter what that refuge is- anything that will get us out of the storm.

Sometimes we ignore it. The rain falls, and our day carries on, just like it would if there wasn't a cloud in the sky. We don't really even notice that it started raining, and we don't notice when it stops.

Sometimes it ruins our day. We have to change all of our plans. It makes us mad and bitter, and we blame the rain for everything else that goes wrong.

Sometimes, it makes us sad. The gray sky rubs off on us. We are lonely or depressed. Melancholy  thoughts run through our minds and nothing is quite good enough to pull us out of our gloominess.

Sometimes, it scares us. We aren't sure what's going to happen next. We don't know how long it will last, or if we'll make it out in one piece.

But the thing about the rain, is that the sun always shines again. It's always there, waiting behind the clouds to make its grand entrance. Just when we think we've had enough, just when we're not sure how much more we can take, the sun rescues us with its bright warmth, and saves us from drowning, crying, bitterness, fear; reminding us that the storm is always only temporary. 

There is sun in everyone's life. Whatever you're going through, wherever you are, the rain won't last. It's only a temporary storm in front of your sun. It will shine again. Don't let the rain keep you from dancing in the streets. 

You need to read this.

The problem with relationships that are fun while they last, is that they don’t ever last. You can’t just love the best version of someone. You have to love the worst, most annoying, most whiny version of them. That’s the only way you’ll ever deserve the best version. It’s the only way anyone will ever deserve the best version of you.

No matter what twisted lies our world tells, girls still need romance, and guys still need the pursuit.

People are not cell phones. You can’t upgrade when your version gets old or the communication gets slow. The only true love story is still the one written by God, and even if you don’t like the plot, it’s the only way to a happy ending.

Yeah, things get hard and it won’t stay exciting, and yeah, at some point, you’re going to want out, but it’s not a game. It’s real life and there are no timeouts or redos. There is only here and now and mercy and grace and forgiveness. There is only love, like Christ loved us.

There is only hope for tomorrow, no guarantee of it. So don’t say that tomorrow you will make it right, but don’t expect to solve all your problems in one night. Sleep still is the best cure for most illnesses.

We have to give love and show vulnerability to be trustworthy and to receive vulnerability in return. People are so defensive, but relationships are made of teammates, not opponents.

You are not perfect, and when you look in the mirror, you know this. Don’t expect anyone else to be, either. Do not expect of someone what you do not give them. Don’t call the girl you hurt or the guy you left and expect a friendly voice. Exes are not forgotten friends. They are lessons learned, and there is a reason you are not still with them.

Peace must be kept, but it’s okay to fight. It’s healthy to disagree and to speak your own mind, but words have more power than the strongest weapon, so use them with caution and beware of destruction.

Dance slowly and look into one another’s eyes. Hold hands and compromise. Meet in the middle, and don’t want what you do not have, don’t wish to be who you are not. It’s exhausting and there’s no appeal in being anything except yourself. No one wants perfect, but everyone is searching for real. Real is not on a magazine cover and Hollywood does not define standards for self-image or love. Don’t look to last month’s tabloid for your goals and hopes- look to the living Book- the only one that has been tried and tested and withstood any society.

Love fiercely, and do not be afraid to risk it all. With much risk, comes much reward, but remember there is a difference in foolishness and bravery, and even Spiderman needed a little help.

Sometimes, a pipe is just a pipe, said Freud. 

Firsts and Lasts

Everyone experiences firsts and lasts. Firsts and lasts come in all sizes, and normally, there is a story- a memory attached to each. Telling the story is not important because we hold the stories in our hearts or our minds, sometimes against our will. What is important is learning from these first times and last times, growing from them, appreciating the experiences- even if it takes a while. Here's a few of mine...

thanks to my Creative Non-Fiction teacher for the idea.

First....
Time I really gave myself to God. (life-changing, literally.)
Time I kissed a boy.
Time I left home for a long period of time.
Time I got a dog.
Real, scarring heartbreak.
Adult purchase I ever made (a car... I jumped right in.)
(and only!) really bad grade in college.
 Job.

Last....
Time I saw my Great-Grandmother.
Summer with Student Life (there were only two but both incomparable with any other).
High school event. (Graduation... all the people I'd grown up with, away from, close to).
Fight before ending an engagement.
Scary movie I watched (still leaving the lamp on!).
Time I rode my mountain bike (or even worse, my road bike. ah!).
Concert I went to.


There's so many more. My life has been defined by firsts and lasts. Some funny, some serious or sad, but all are so important to who I am today. As I made this list, I thought about all the things I went through to experience these firsts and lasts, and what I've taken from each one... There is a story for every thing, and a season for each.. Do not be defined by your first and lasts, but be wiser from experiencing them. All things begin and end. Embrace that.

Here's to 2012...

A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more...and to stop worrying about "what if" and embrace what would be. -New Year's Eve.

Just yesterday I was sitting in class counting the weeks to fall break; then the classes left until Thanksgiving. I bought a great sweater on sale on Black Friday and woke up again on Christmas morning- or at least that's how it feels.

The sad part, or maybe just the true part, is that I don't even remember fall break. I remember thanksgiving day, but not much more of that week either.  Christmas is still fresh on my
mind because I have not yet accepted the reality that it is over already. 

I didn't even have time to make a New Year's resolution, not that I would actually have kept it. I have seriously considered joining the gym and dreamt... Again... About running that marathon. Of course, I'm an excuse maker, so there's that. 

But here's to another year. No resolutions this year, but here's to the possibility. Here's to the Hillary Swank- smile-into- the- air of hope, new beginnings, and remembering the weeks that go by. Here's to walking slower, listening more, and taking in the days that whiz past. I don't think the world will be ending this year, but here's to living 2012 like the Mayans were right. 

Seasons

For every thing there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Seasons are inevitable. I'm not talking about summer and winter (though those are inevitable too). I'm talking about the good and sometimes bad times in our life that come, quietly and without notice, and become a way of living. Then we wake up a few months down the road and realize all we have of that time is just the memory, and just like that, those times, those seasons are gone, quietly and without notice- just like they came.

Like a Memphis spring, some seasons of life aren't too noticeable. But, like a Memphis summer, some seasons are full of memorable events, good and bad, and seem to last forever. Then, just when we get used to them or adjust to their pace, they are gone and we aren't sure how, or what to do in their wake.

Though my life has been full of these seasons, and I've taken something away from each one that I am thankful to have learned, there are three particular seasons that stick out to me.

The first one is summer of 2008. I had just gotten my mountain bike as a graduation present, and it was the best gift ever. My dad, brother, sister-in-law, and I would go and ride all the time. Maybe that's why I love MTB so much. That summer was hot, but we spent what seems like every weekend on our bikes. After that summer, I started working for Student Life so that was my only summer on the trails, but I still think about those days all the time, and I am thankful.

Even though those summer days faded, a new season came. It was the season of Starbucks. Every Tuesday afternoon, my mom and sister and I would meet at Starbucks. We would laugh and gossip and discuss things of importance, like Thanksgiving meals and sales at Target. This season lasted for a long time, but eventually school schedules and jobs got in the way. One day, I might live too far away to meet my sister and mom at the coffee shop, but I am so grateful for those Tuesday afternoons!

The season that has lasted longer than any other is the lunch club. When I was a freshman in college, my dad would eat lunch at the Subway across the street from school every Friday. So, for a free meal, I started joining him. Little did I know, 4 years later I would cherish those lunch dates. Sort of like religion, we follow the guidelines and meet every week; usually Subway, sometimes mexican, and lately, on Thursdays. The lunch club has gone through the days of the week, and occasionally we'll have honorary guests, but my Dad and I are the only true members. My sister tries but just can't stay faithful (which is understandable with a 4 year old at home), and Mom has a hard time sitting at lunch for an hour (because teachers only get 25 minutes for lunch), but is normally at work anyway. So, just me and Dad. It's my favorite and longest running season. When school starts back, we'll have to move Lunch club to Fridays, and then, in the summer, it might change again. I know one day I probably won't make it to lunch every week, but I sure have learned a lot during these meetings over the past four years, and I am so blessed to have that time with my Dad.

These seasons are the moments we'll cherish. These are the moments we'll remember, the conversations we learn from, the moments that define our relationships and our lives. These seasons are the ones that get us through each day and make the weeks go by. Be grateful, whatever season you're in, and take something away from each one.

Whatever the season, however long, be thankful.

2011 by month

My plans for myself have never worked out, thankfully. God cares too much for me to let my plans work out. 2010 was a big, hard year in my life, and 2011 was the aftermath. I have been thinking about it, how this year has changed me, or rather, how God has changed me throughout this year. Here are some of the highlights:

In January I started a new relationship for the first time since I ended my engagement.
In February I really, finally let go of an old relationship and let myself heal.
(In March, nothing memorable happened, but I'm sure God did something during this month, too.)
In April, I quit the job I'd had for 5 years and started a job that would lead me to one of the best friends I've had.
In May, I experienced Cinco De Mayo working in a Mexican Restaurant... no description necessary.
In June, I took my first family vacation since 6th grade. I realized that I was alone for the first time since I could remember- alone, just me and God. I also realized that I've never been more care and worry free than I was in that moment... and every moment since. God opened my eyes that week to his love in a way that I'd never seen before.
Then, in July, God brought me to a new place with my faith. For the first time, I've taken it and made it authentic. I am living MY faith, not my mothers. I don't know how He does it, but if you let Him, God will change your heart and mind in a way that makes you realize who you really are.
In August, I went to a wedding and saw, for the first time since our breakup, the boy I almost started a life with. God is so good- the way he opens our eyes and heals our hearts.
In September, I started a "real" job and the major that would rekindle my love for school. I also bought myself a car- a really nice car that doesn't break down and has a working cd player. I met my new niece and God showed me, again, the blessing of family.
In October, I realized why my dad told me never to have a car note, and what being an adult feels like. In November, I filed my intent to graduate and realized how far I've come over the course of three different majors and two different schools.
In December, my hard work at school paid off- I got my scholarship back. God used this to show me, yet again, His faithfulness and how he will always provide.

Maybe the details that shaped my year aren't really important. Maybe what's really important is that, some days throughout this year, I cried. I was heartbroken. I was lonely. I was mad. Some days throughout this year I was happy. I was excited. I was indestructible. But every day throughout this year, God was faithful. His love overwhelms the happiest memories of this year and the most painful. I have no idea what God has in store for 2012, but I will go confidently into the new year- no worries or cares- because I know whatever God has in mind, it's going to be greater than any plan I could have for myself.

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

Petition. For school.

For those of you who have as much as issue with school as I do, here's my petition:

Papers should actually really begin to write themselves after a certain amount of time spent staring at the blank document upon which they shall be written.

A strict "No Dieting/ healthy eating" policy will be enforced at all hours during a paper writing/ mid-term studying session. Cokes and chips are necessary for clear thinking.

Creative writing majors should not be forced to write research papers. It hinders our creativity, which is a problem, hence the name of our major. Nor should any other major be forced to write research papers, seeing as they are useless.

As long as a paper is for the grade and neither for sale nor public credit, no proof of originality shall be required.

Attendance should, in no circumstances, be mandatory, as long as the student maintains a grade that meets his or her personal criteria.

Group projects, to be done in class and not outside, should make up the majority of the weight of the grading scale.

No class should exceed the time limit of one hour. Limits above one hour force a student to choose between paying attention to the professor or wishing they were elsewhere, in which case, wishing they were elsewhere always prevails.

No professor shall assign reading over the length of 10 pages per class period, in order to prevent students' eyes from crossing, or closing, while trying to complete the reading assignment.

Textbooks shall never be paid for, only checked out when needed, especially at institutions in which tuition rises every semester.

Attendance to school sporting events, wearing school-spirited apparel, and participating in school events should count largely toward a student's gpa.

The amount of time between scheduled classes should allow for food breaks, printing breaks, nap breaks, and any other type of breaks that might enhance a student's learning abilities.

Classes that encourage physical activity and those most pertinent to one's major should be much more weighted than general education courses required by the university, as they will be much more pertinent to the student's future than those general education classes.