Thursday, May 16, 2013

Two months of marriage

I have been married for 2 months and 2 weeks. It is crazy how fast time flies.

Here is what I've learned during these glorious two months:

There is a lot of laundry. If you think you wear a lot of laundry, wait until you're doing laundry for two. And I thought I had a lot of clothes...

There is a lot of dust. Everywhere. Night stands, side tables, china cabinets, dressers. It's all over the place. Maybe I never paid attention before, but it sure seems like marries brings dust.

Cooking dinner takes time. A LOT of time. To prepare a real, delicious, homemade meal takes hours. Not kidding.

Chores are still chores. Cleaning the bathroom does not get better just because it's your lovey's bathroom. And clearing the table and doing the dishes are not more fun because your sweetie tells you how great everything looks. It still stinks and is gross.

Painting your nails becomes less of a priority, but not less of a desire. I still always yearn for a beautiful, glossy manicure, but sometimes (most of the time) there are better (or just other) things to do than paint those phalanges.

Sharing your bed is still not easy. I mean, don't get me wrong I love having the man beside me at night, but that doesn't mean I don't wish I could stretch out diagonally with the entire comforter wrapped around me without harming someone else.

Coordinating schedules is difficult. I used to think how wonderful all the things we had planned would be once we were a we and would do them all together, but I forgot that he has an entire family with birthdays and holidays, too, and that his work schedule is not exactly like mine and that he has things he wants to do, too... and that getting my hair done is not his greatest wish for the weekend. Things like that are important... very important... to  remember.

Bills must be paid. Not that I forget to pay my bills, but living at home with Momma and Daddy and paying my cellphone bill, gas, and car note then spending every single penny left over is not the recipe for a successful marriage. And sometimes, it is painful to mail in that mortgage check... especially when Jessica Simpson has just come out with a new pair of wedges.


Anyway, I could go on. I'm sure he has a list of things he's learned too. But, at the end of the day, here's what I've really learned in my two months of marriage:

How completely and fully God allows us to love another person is overwhelming... every single day I look at him. And not in a cheesy way. In a way that stops any thought I have at the time and makes me question how something so incredible could also be so real.

How difficult and amazing sharing life with another person can be. There are so many things that I cannot understand about the way Andrew's mind works or about why he makes the decisions he make, and sometimes those things I can't understand make living with him hard or frustrating, but it's also amazing... the way two people can combine their entire lives and make it work so well. It's like we've been welded together and somehow all of our different abilities and thoughts and processes sync together and make a beautiful creation. Every time we conquer a conversation peacefully that normally would bring about an argument, or every time one of us gives in to the other (even though it might be the hardest thing to do) and we are able to move on, it astounds me. How much we can grow and change.

How fun normal life can be. We don't have to be on vacation or out at a fun place or with a lot of people or even at dinner. We can be at home, on the couch, and it's the best place in the world to be. There is no one else I'd rather hang out with or talk to or get advice from. Marriage is the ultimate friendship.

How much our families impact who we are. I have always been a firm believer that people are a product of their environment, but I never realized how much like our families we are, until I got married. Everything Andrew does or thinks is somehow, even if just an inkling, reflected through his parents and the relationship they have together and with him. Sometimes he'll tell me I sound like my mom, act like my mom, think like my Dad, and more and more, things I see in Andrew every day, I'll see in his mom or Dad when we're with them, and everything seems to make a little more sense. I never really listened when friends would say, "Your marrying his Dad. He'll act the same," or "Look at the parents. That's what you'll get," and although this is not the complete truth in every situation, it is definitely so true in so many ways. (Fortunately, I got lucky in this department)

There are so many other things that I've learned about marriage. About being selfless and encouraging and supportive; so many things I'm learning about biblical submission and being a Godly wife. There are so many things God is teaching me about my ministry that is my husband and my marriage, and just about life in general, but the most important thing I've learned about marriage is how sacred and fragile and valuable a Godly, loving, faithful marriage is, and the daily challenge that comes with trying to love better and grow stronger in every situation life gives us.

This I have already learned though, how merciful and gracious God is, to bless my life so immensely in a way that is so undeserved.