Wednesday, February 1, 2012

He's not real.

Just this second, I was watching a music video for a country song, and found myself wondering, "Why don't I have that kind of relationship?"

Movies, books, songs, tv- they make us long for something that isn't real. Nicholas Sparks makes even the best guys look like jerks. When I read Dear John, I cried for John Tyree. I thought how stupid that girl was for not waiting on him. I said I would have waited for him. If that's the case, I'm going to be waiting a long time.

There are good guys out there, lots of them. I am related to the two greatest men in the world (at least, I think they are the two greatest men in the world!) But even they don't live up to the standards of a "dream boy."

Girls, we can't change a bad boy. We can't make him right and good and honorable. Guys don't walk around and write love songs for us, they don't hold boom boxes outside our windows. They don't remodel houses in our honor and then say "it was never over," when we return to them. They don't sit beside our bed all night just to make sure we sleep okay. They don't do that . That's . Not . Real .

It's like this- we are not "dream girl" material. Well, I'm not anyways. I complain... a lot. I'm irrational and difficult and nothing is ever my fault. If I'm not the girl in one of those songs/ books/ movies, how can I expect him to be the guy in one of those movies? If I'm not perfect size, perfect attitude, perfect girl, why would I expect a guy to be all of those things for me?

Next time you find yourself wondering where your Noah, John, Chuck, Edward, Jacob, the list goes on, is, think about what guy, any guy, you actually know in real life that acts the way those characters do. I'd bet you can't find an answer.

Don't ask what's missing in your relationship. Don't ask where your dream guy is. Really think about the things you do have in a relationship, or think about the things that are actually really important. Ask yourself what's going to matter in 10 years when you're waking up beside him every morning. It'll make you thankful for what you have instead of ungrateful for what you can't seem to find. It'll make you realize the difference in a movie character and a real-life guy. It'll make you realize where your expectations are and where they should be.

Give the guys a chance. Sparkly vampires aren't real. (Neither is Christian Grey. Or Peetah for that matter.)

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