Today I read a tweet that said, "You don't lose friends. You just find out who your real ones are."
This is so wrong. So wrong, in fact, that is makes me frustrated and now I am writing about it.
There are only two girls from school that I still talk to regularly. And really, I don't even talk to them regularly. I can tell you though, they weren't my only two friends all throughout school. So, if this tweet is true, that means the five girls who carried me through school from third grade to junior year and all the new, wonderful friends I've met since then aren't real friends. What?
Here is the thing about friends: They come and go.
I firmly believe god allows people to be a part of our lives for different reasons and for different lengths of time. I believe some friends come, help us grow and change, and then are gone. Nothing more to it.
I believe some friends become just that because when we are little we like the same crayons or have the same kind of guinea pig, but as time goes and we grow up, things like guinea pigs don't matter anymore and suddenly it's about drinking and curfews and your lives go in totally different directions. And it's hard. It's really hard and there are tears and fights, and you end up not friends anymore at the end of it all. When you're 17 this doesn't really make sense and it sucks, but when you're older, you can see how those friends helped you become who you are, and you remember all the things they helped you get through, and you realize they are some of your truest friends, even if you don't really know them anymore.
I believe there are friends that God saves for us until later in life. New friends that we meet at college or at work; friends who, at 17, we never would have hung out with, but now they share a world of commonalities. They encourage us and walk with us through similar places in life. Friends who are new, fresh, and real, even though they've only been around for a few months.
I believe there are old friends, too. The kind you don't hang out with anymore; the kind you don't really see except at their wedding or on a random grocery run to the Kroger in their neighborhood. But these friends, these are the ones you still call your sisters. These are the friends you still know better than anyone else. These are the ones you can still call in that moment of tears and upset that still know what to say and exactly what you mean when you are talking about your mom or sister or someone from the past. Kind of like life savers. You don't always need them, but they are always there.
So, yes. Girls, you will lose friends. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it doesn't even really matter. But it happens, and it will happen all throughout life. But that doesn't mean they weren't your real friends. It doesn't mean they didn't impact you, change you, help you become who you are. It doesn't mean you can't laugh about memories and remember all those late nights you had together. It just means God's purpose for them in your life was through. And like everything else in life, your friendship changed.
I hope you love your friends. I hope you spend time with them and reach out to them. I hope you use your friendship to encourage them and minister to them. And I hope, when it's all said and done and they are no longer your friend, that you can smile and be thankful for the time you got together, and appreciate their new life and your new friends.