Monday, March 7, 2011

Heartbreak and recovery?

So what's left after the pain? Haven't we all felt pain? Haven't we all recovered, at least a little bit, from the pain we've felt? So what's left after that? What's left after the storm? What's left after your heart is done breaking? What's left when you're alone, and people have stopped calling and you're truly alone. It's so quiet you can hear your tears hit the ground. Where do you go from there?

Heartache is something we are all familiar with. Maybe not from a relationship, and more power to you if that's the case, but from sickness or loss or the millions of other things that break our hearts and leave us a little less full, a little more scared. There are songs and books and movies about healing and getting on with life, but I think everyone finds, once they are the ones faced with pain and heartache, all those movies and songs and books don't do justice to the way we are actually hurting. Nothing can prepare you for heartbreak. Nothing can prepare you for the way it will feel when you are crying and looking at what just happened and the only thought in your head is that there's no way you'll ever be okay again. This is a lie, of course, but to feel that way- it seems like the only truth in the world.

After heartache comes the questions. So now you're alone, heartbroken, and "why?" keeps coming through your mind. All the things you should have done, could have done, would change if you could go back- it all keeps running through your mind. The truth is though, there's nothing you could have done because, although you are in pain, you did not cause the pain. Someone else did. Whether it was a breakup or some other kind of loss, you were perfectly happy and content, or even if you weren't happy you were atleast okay, comfortable, but the seal of comfort was ripped away and the truth is, there was nothing you could have done. Ouch.

So what do you do, and why isn't anyone telling you how to move on? Maybe the truth, the real truth, is that no one can tell you what to do. No one can tell you how to move on or get over it or be okay again. No one's hurt is the same as yours, and even though we might experience similar situations that cause pain, our pain is different than anyone else's. Maybe some people don't need to heal. They just put the pain in the back of their mind and bury it with millions of other memories. Maybe some people cry and wallow in self-pity, and then one day, the get up, put their best clothes on and smile, and join the world again. Maybe some people never really heal at all. Maybe they just carry the pain around with them. A small part of their heart stays broken or missing forever, and they never really get past what happened. They cope and carry on, but whenever they are alone, they feel the sting of that pain.

I don't think anyone in the world can really say how to be okay again. I don't think anyone can really tell a person how to move on and recover, but I know that every person can recover for themselves. It takes time; a very long time. The process might be grueling and leave you breathless and battered at times, but you'll be stronger for it in the end. Whether it's with the grace of a lady that you hold your head high and stop the tears, or the strength of a man, you'll find a way. It might take a while, but you'll figure it out. As certain as heartbreak is, so is recovery.

The good thing about falling tears is that once they hit the ground, they can't fall anymore.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this! This is all so true. Things you wouldn't be able to describe or understand unless you have dealt with it. You know what I'm referring to, not a relationship but you're exactly right. I think all you can really do is take it day by day, continue giving everything to God, & better yourself :)