Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I forgot myself

Psalm 46:10 He says, "Be still and know that I am God...." 

I have forgotten myself. Or atleast that's what it feels like. And then I got sick.

In the past two or three months, I have been so busy with a new job and a new school semester and a new relationship and a new... I could literally go on and on with all the changes in my life the past few months. I am so thankful for every single one of them, but I'm sitting here tonight, and I've been sick since Friday, and now finally, on Wednesday, I have turned down plans and sat on the couch in hopes of getting better. But you know what, sitting here on this couch for the first time in... I can't remember... I've finally realized that in the midst of all the new and the busy, I have forgotten myself, and it seems the things I've forgotten are the really important things.

I have forgotten about this blog and all these silly words I write that bring me joy and relief. I have forgotten about reading my bible, and how much I love the scriptures, yeah as the Word of God, but also just as an amazing piece of literature. I have forgotten what it feels like to lay on my couch and be in bed before 11.

Life gets really, really busy. In fact, I think sometimes life gets so busy that God uses sickness to make us slow down. He allows us to get sick in order to force us to say no to plans and obligations, and to make us sit and stop and think about ourselves for a second. Lately, it seems like I've found myself making a list of all the things I want to do, but that list keeps getting longer and nothing is getting marked out. But here's my question: if I don't even make time in my own life for myself, how am I supposed to make time for God or anyone else?

This is the first blog I've posted since September 7th. That makes me so sad. This is the first night I have sat and actually read my bible, not just to look up a certain verse in passing, in quite a while. This is the first night I've thought about where I am now and how I got here. This is the first night I've remembered myself and who I am and who I want people to know me as.

So here's my thought: Make time for yourself. Because if you aren't making time for yourself, you're probably not making time for God or anyone else either.

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