Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and our strength. And ever-present help in times of trouble.
I am overwhelmed right now by what's on the news- It seems like hurt and loss have come to everyone I know, like pain is felt by everyone in this world, and like it continues to rain in so many ways on this life and this place.
I hear of these storms, see the pictures of people who have lost all, of all who have lost people, and I hear stories of girls struggling to know how precious they are in the eyes of the maker. I hear stories of heartbreak and of families torn apart by war, and I think to myself, "why do I have it so good, and why do I complain when it gets hard for me?"
I know that God is in control, and to him be the glory, but sometimes I do wonder "Why, God?", and I feel silly because who am I to ask the creator of this universe "why?", or to even think for a second that nothing good can come of what's happened and what's to come.
Who am I to say that all this world feels is pain, and the truth is, we live in a broken world, so sometimes that's just it- the world is just broken.
But to God be the glory and I mean that whole-heartedly. In our trials, in our pain, God is glorified most high, and if it takes pain and loss and destruction and other high costs for us to raise our hands and fall to our knees and finally realize the detrimental need for a Heavenly Father, then shame on us for not realizing sooner. Shame on us for waiting for loss, for only saying our prayers when it seems to be dark. Shame on me for questioning "why?" when the answer to why is quite clearly me.
I am why it takes so much pain and so much hurt for God to be called on, glorified and searched. And I ask him, God search my heart, but he already has and this is what it took. So here I am God, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doubting and certainly sorry for shouting "WHY?" when I know why, and it doesn't even matter. There's still so much to be thankful for, and you- perfect and worthy- are so merciful that you lift me up when my heart is hurting.
So God, no longer will I ask "why?" and drop my head in ignorance. I'll say to you and this world that I live in, "To God be the glory, and in all things lost, God has a reason, even at such a high cost. His plan is so perfect and his timing is too, he is merciful and just and makes all things new."
I'll glorify you and I'll praise you in this storm. I'll thank you for the cross and the cost that's already been paid, and I'll realize today, that you reign over all, and to you be all praise.